My Thoughts Are Not Your Thoughts

Anyone who knows me well enough can tell you that it has been one of my biggest childhood dreams to work for Fox News Network in Washington D.C. That's a big aspiration for a 4th grader, you might say, but my daddy raised me right. As a little girl I remember riding home from school with him in his truck, Sean Hannity blaring loudly over the radio. When the commercials would finally come on in between segments, he would ask me what I though about political issues, fiscal issues, and even the moral issues that had just been discussed on air. At age 9 I knew where I stood politically, and all I wanted to do was tell other people how I felt about it and possibly persuade them to agree with me.

As a nine-year-old, I never thought in my wildest dreams that an opportunity to intern for Fox could possibly be in my future. It was always one of those things you kind of just think about, or push aside as a wish, but don't really think will ever come true.

For those of you who don't know, a little over a month ago I was accepted into a program through my school called "The Washington Fellowship". Basically this program acts as a professional development course as well as an aid in helping students get interns at extremely well known companies, networks, political offices and even research centers in D.C. For the last month and a half I have been tutored and trained under a professional career adviser who has helped with my resume, different cover letters, answered any questions I have and has let me practice my interviewing skills. Not only has he advised me with these skills, but he also acts as my personal "Yoda" (as all the career people like to call him). So as soon as I apply for an internship, he calls, he emails and he gets me on a first name basis. He makes my applications personal so the chances of me getting a good internship go though the roof.

This past Thursday I had my first mock interview with a panel of interviewers. After my interview was over, I conveyed that I was willing to do just about anything to get it in with Fox, but I wasn't sure they would have any interest in my application. I mean, why me right? Seems like that's the question I'm always asking myself. My coordinator responded with some encouraging words about Fox and then asked me if I knew who Lila Rose is and if I would be interested in interning for Live Action.

Lila Rose?! Are you kidding me? Of course I know who she is!

Rabbit trail really quick. Lila Rose works for a pro-life organization called Live Action whose goal is to save the lives of innocent unborn children and to take down as many Planned Parenthood's as possible in the process. In doing this, she is in charge of sending in fake pimps with child prostitutes to these clinics all over the country. She plants hidden cameras on the pimps and young children who are supposed to be no more than 14 or 15 years old and then these pimps ask the clerks behind the counter to aid in giving these young women abortions (which is clearly illegal because a) prostitution is illegal, b) sex abuse is illegal, c) "owning someone and selling them for sex is illegal and d) any person under the age of 18 must have written permission from a parent to get an abortion. The sad thing about this is, that Ms. Rose came to find out that more times than not, Planned Parenthood officials were allowing all of this to go on behind closed doors, committing fraud, and murder in the process. Ms. Rose has put an end to multiple PP clinics around the country by proving this to government officials and has saved potentially millions of lives. She is someone I truly desire to emulate, and I would die to work under her.
 
 It's always funny to me how the Lord does things. This last week also happened to be what Liberty calls, "Missions Emphasis Week" where they bring in speakers and missionaries who have literally reached the ends of the earth with good news of the Gospel. This being like my 5th missions week at LU, I was kind of annoyed with it, and actually became discouraged.

Honestly, I don't feel called to go to Haiti or Korea or South America and tell people about Jesus first hand. I am definitely not opposed to the idea, but I just don't feel like that's what God as in store for my life. So I kind of hated it when today's speaker basically said that every thing else other than missions is pointless. Not gonna lie, it was really discouraging to hear that all of my dreams, my desires, my goals, my wants: they were all for nothing. How could she say that? Was she nuts? Was she so right to assume that all of my good, but perhaps slightly selfish dreams of being an anchor on Fox News were . . . selfish? Selfish? Wait a second. . .

. . . I thought back to yesterday when I told the coordinator in my interview that I would do "pretty much anything" to get the internship at Fox. Pretty much anything. Wow. Let's do a reality check really quick. Was I willing to do pretty much anything for Jesus? Was I willing to put my life in his hands, give it back to him, serve him with it? Was I willing to give up my childhood dreams of working for one of the biggest news networks in the world for the sake of furthering the Kingdom of Heaven?

Just then it hit me like a ton of bricks when I took the speaker's advice and brought it a little closer to home. When I sat back and evaluated my motives for wanting to be on Fox, they always seemed to point back to me. Not that anything is wrong with that desire, it's just that if I were to pick between an internship with either Lila or Fox, which one would I pick and why? And that was exactly the question I had to ask myself. You see, the speaker wasn't trying to attack my dreams, she was only trying to make sure they were aligned with what the Lord had in store for me. And if you look hard enough, there are ministries everywhere you look. People need help, and it's not too hard to find them.

I have always known deep down that I don't have greater passion than putting an end to abortion. It is something that disgusts me more than anything else in this world. To not take an opportunity such as this would be like spilling good milk down the drain: wasted and ineffective.

I was convicted this week. Majorly convicted. What's more important to me? Being a face for a news network or potentially saving millions of lives and sharing the Gospel and ministering to abused and terrified women who have no where to turn?

And oh, for the record, I haven't gotten offered an internship from either place. Not yet. But God is going to do something big with me.

Number one thing I learned this week: God's plans are greater than mine.

Isaiah 55:8 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts and My ways are not your ways" declares the Lord.