Bald & Beautiful

There's a reason why girls generally have longer hair and guys generally have short hair. In this day and age, women who have hair shorter than their ears are considered either lesbians, or cancer patients. Point being in this society is, if you're a straight, healthy woman, you have no business having hair that is cut like "a boy's". Another reason we women don't usually just butch our hair, is because it literally acts as our security blanket. We worship it- we brush our hair on a daily basis, spend ridiculous amounts of money on promising shampoos and conditioners, we dye it all kinds of colors, we stick silly things in our hair like head bands,and barrettes and shiny things,  and worst of all, we spend hours in front of the mirror making it look perfect. And some of us. . .and we know who we are . . . we let a boy determine the way we wear it.

So why did I let a clueless, young, inexperienced hair dresser turn me into my worst nightmare of looking like a 12 year old boy who hasn't gone through puberty yet? Well the truth is- I didn't. I didn't want to look like a lesbian, and I really didn't want the last little bit of confidence I had literally stripped from me. But accidents happen, and I think it happened for a reason.

When something is so precious to you, so valuable to you, so cherished by you, you start to place your security in it. And as soon as it's gone, life isn't real, it isn't pretty, and it hurts.

For two days I could not look at myself in the mirror, and something that had been so valuable to me before, was now all gone and there was nothing I could do to get it back. I had to come to terms with reality whether I liked it or not.

Last night I stood in front of the mirror and had to tell myself out loud for 15 minutes that "I am a beautiful creation of God". Sidetrack. .  .shout out to Audrey Ralon for having to say that to me everyday in Evangelism class freshman year. Haha. Good times.

In a weird way, the Lord answered my prayers when I asked Him to show me the idols of my heart. I loved my hair!And if I'm being completely honest with myself, I put my identity in my appearance, in the hair on my head, instead of in the Lord.

And so, after coming to terms with my outward appearance, I gathered all the courage I had left, stuck it under my arm and got on a plane and flew back home to Liberty. While sitting on the plane, I wrestled with God about whether or not to tell the man next to me about Jesus. Finally about half way through the flight, miserable and sad about both of the shocking things that I lost this weekend, I decided to go out of my comfort zone and begin a conversation with a perfect stranger. Heck, I was already out of my comfort zone, what else did I have to lose? What was one more person denying me of attention?

"So are you from Michigan?" I asked him. Michael had just graduated from high school a year ago, and was training to be in the U.S. Marine Corps. He was headed to Georgia for basic training. He asked me where I was in my life, and I told him I am a video broadcasting major and I want to be an anchor someday.

Those next few words out of his mouth were shocking and wonderful all at the same time.

"You are a very beautiful, young woman," he said.

I almost lost it right there in my seat. I could feel the tears beginning to flood in my eyes.

Somewhere between him telling me to re-find my confidence and me telling him about what the Lord had put me through recently, I began to feel a peace rising up inside of me. I began to finally feel beautiful again. Bald, but beautiful. Heartbroken, but comforted. And I knew why the Lord told me to talk to Michael in the first place: to bring me comfort.  I told Michael  I would pray for him, and he told me to never forget what he'd said.

The Lord can be pesty sometimes. Especially when you don't get the lesson he is trying to teach you in the first place.

So here I am. Instead of broken and bald, I have decided to be single and beautiful. Beautiful in my own skin, and unmasked for the first time in forever. Unrestrained by a full head of hair. So take that world, I'm going to conquer you!

Accidents happen. But NOTHING ever takes THE LORD by surprise! The Lord is good. He never leaves us or forsakes us. He brings peace to the brokenhearted and restores the sorrowful. What an amazing God we serve!

"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." ~ Luke 12:7